Delamar’s Brain Farts

June 7, 2011

My Life Unexpected…

Filed under: Uncategorized — delamar @ 4:56 pm

21 weeks, Day 6.

That’s how far along I am in my pregnancy. Somehow I never felt compelled to write about what I am truly going through. I’m about to become a mother! Even as I type it, as I live it, I can’t believe it’s happening. But it is. Every day the little baby inside of me tells me he’s in there alive and literally kicking!

Geez. This is crazy. This is good. So, why haven’t I blogged about it until now? Because I am in limbo. My life has taken such a drastic turn. Something I never expected. I mean, I had hoped to find love, get married then have children. I never ever thought I’d go straight into the having a child part while skipping the previous steps.

I haven’t blogged because my brain feels like a soup of happiness, anticipation, fear, apprehensions, joy, sadness, readiness, reservations, etc. I feel like a planet of emotions. And a lot of times I really don’t know what to do, how to feel, and what to do with my feelings. Some days I feel like I’m all alone in this. And I am almost paralyzed with fear.

But then, all of a sudden I think of holding my baby. Cradling him in my arms. Talking to him. Soothing him with my voice. Looking into his eyes that are seeing this world for the first time. And I am bathed in inexplicable joy. A wave of love for someone I haven’t ever met takes hold of me.

And then? And then I am fine. No matter what.

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24 Comments »

  1. You’ve probably heard this a gazillion times already, but still, a BIG CONGRATULATIONS to you again! You can never be alone with that pregnancy. I may not be be feeling what you’re going through right now but we your fans (yihii!), know that you can do this. You have your family and friends with you 🙂 Cant wait to see the baby pictures. Dont leave morning rush ha? C&D with kiddo. :p

    Comment by dhale a — June 7, 2011 @ 5:46 pm | Reply

  2. What does it feel like when you have your baby move inside your tummy? Grabe, I’m so excited! Can’t wait to see your baby! 😉

    Comment by Cherry — June 7, 2011 @ 6:41 pm | Reply

  3. You will be a great mother Delle! 🙂

    Comment by Brian — June 7, 2011 @ 6:53 pm | Reply

    • i really really will work at being a good one.

      Comment by delamar — June 8, 2011 @ 6:40 am | Reply

  4. Congrats Del! I cried with all the other rushers when I heard your big reveal kasi I really felt your happiness while you were telling on air that you’re pregnant. I’m so happy and excited for you! (Sana lang wag makuha ang tyanak voice ni Zinger Zongwriter hehehe)

    Comment by Technobluprint — June 7, 2011 @ 6:57 pm | Reply

  5. everything will be alright delle. it’s god’s will, “inshallah”.. i have been a listener to your show since i’m in elementary. i wish you and the baby a very blessed life…:)

    Comment by Carlo Cardenas — June 7, 2011 @ 7:03 pm | Reply

  6. good job delle,, it was my first time to read your blog, im always a follower of chico.. now i read your thoughts too.. keep it up!!! life is beautiful…:-)

    Comment by sherille — June 7, 2011 @ 7:07 pm | Reply

  7. hi delle! nice to see you blogging again! so, you’re on your second trimester – that’s the fun stage. wishing you a hassle-free months again and of course, a smooth and safe delivery.

    Comment by carmine — June 7, 2011 @ 7:07 pm | Reply

  8. congrats on your baby, delle! Ü what you are feeling is perfectly normal; anyone who has been an expectant mother could tell you that Ü and I, having had an unplanned pregnancy, could assure you that I’ve been through the same range (and rollercoaster) of emotions too.

    you’re halfway through already and I think you’re doing just fine. don’t let yourself to be too overwhelmed by all the changes, simply take baby steps in facing everything.

    oh, by the way, never ever forget that you and your baby are loved. not just by your kin & friends, but also by rushers like myself Ü

    take care always delle!

    Comment by Vanenie — June 7, 2011 @ 7:17 pm | Reply

  9. yes Del, you will be fine…embrace every moment of your baby in your tummy, it’s overwhelming. the more when you get to touch, see,smell, hear him. 😀

    Comment by ronzki — June 7, 2011 @ 7:44 pm | Reply

  10. Congrats Del! and welcome back to blog world! Hope you post more…update more! Like Chico and his tiyanak son! LOL

    Comment by ENGRMOKS — June 7, 2011 @ 8:12 pm | Reply

  11. Delle! Im so happy for your gift! I have been a listener of Chico and Del since you were at KC FM. I just got the courage to write to you when actually when you had the big reveal, I was crying tears of joy!! I am so happy for you and your bundle of joy.. Just an advice, keep him away from Chico! (kidding ;p)Have a safe pregnancy and enjoy the moment! =)

    Comment by pretty_J — June 7, 2011 @ 9:16 pm | Reply

  12. congratulations to this new journey you’re heading to.
    i admire you’re courage and hope u’ll have a healthy pregnancy

    Can i share u a quoted verse from Paulo Coelho’s Eleven Minutes

    Hymn to Isis

    For I am the first and the last
    I am the venerated and the despised
    I am the prostitute and the saint
    I am the wife and the virgin

    I am the mother and the daughter
    I am the arms of my mother
    I am barren and my children are many
    I am the married woman and the spinster

    I am the woman who gives birth and she who never procreated
    I am the consolation for the pain of birth
    I am the wife and the husband
    And it was my man who created me

    I am the mother of my father
    I am the sister of my husband
    And he is my rejected son
    Always respect me

    For I am the shameful and the magnificent one

    It just tells a lot about womanhood.
    Some ‘lines’ just describes us

    God bless you and your baby

    Comment by SUNshine — June 7, 2011 @ 10:49 pm | Reply

  13. “A wave of love for someone I haven’t ever met takes hold of me.” – very well said Ms. Del…. very well said. The same thing I felt when my wife and I were expecting more than a year ago. I’m a big fan of yours and Chico. I can’t wait to see you both in person on June 25 when you guys host my friends’ wedding. Conrats Del!!! Enjoy every second of your pregnancy. And lastly, make sure to make it a happy experience (Thanks to Chico for making your mornings fun). Your baby will aquire your happy aura. Trust me. Speaking here based on my wife’s experience.

    Comment by Baronix — June 8, 2011 @ 4:35 pm | Reply

  14. It’s okay, Delle, skipping the other parts. Same thing happened to me. I know how you feel. If you need to ask anything, just tweet me. Just don’t believe those movies where women are screaming really loud. That’s not really how it works. Most women get scared about childbirth because of what they see in the movies. With or without anesthesia, it’s okay. Trust me, I’ve experienced both.

    Comment by Xien B. — June 8, 2011 @ 7:17 pm | Reply

    • what do you mean? you gave birth without anesthesia?

      Comment by delamar — June 12, 2011 @ 11:20 pm | Reply

  15. Hi Delle, I know how you’re feeling right now coz I have been exactly in that situation almost 6 years ago. But believe me, what ever big decision or sacrifices you made when you decided to keep the baby will all be worth it. Every child is a gift, and every memory, experience & sacrifices that comes with raising them is like gold. Nothing beats “I love you” that comes from someone you know who genuinely loves you….I know its hard, and processing all the emotions you are experiencing right now is nerve racking, but with the help of your family & all the people who loves you & you’re baby….everything will all be well….God bless and Congratulations!!!

    Comment by Mikey — June 8, 2011 @ 7:31 pm | Reply

  16. Post ka na ng preggers pics mo….

    Comment by Mikey — June 8, 2011 @ 7:32 pm | Reply

  17. Congrats Delle! I’ve been a TMR listener since ’96 (my UP Manila days). I’ve been away for some time for some volunteer jobs so i was out of touch for a while. When I started listening about 2 weeks ago and that you’re mentioning about having a baby…I was surprised…i said to myself…matagal pala akong nawala 🙂 but I am really, really happy for you…God bless you and your lil baby…You’re NOT alone in this…GOD is with you all the way…I hope the chanak will not influence the baby 🙂 Peace chicco!

    Comment by edgy_adventurer — June 9, 2011 @ 9:20 am | Reply

  18. hakunamatata del! no worries… we will all be here ready to listen and help you loosen up. cherish every moment, cause before you know it, the life inside of you will soon start talking walking running to and fro. im excited for you del! please take lotsa care! you and your sweet bundle of joy will always be loved! May the good Lord bless you…=)

    Comment by arianne aubrey — June 9, 2011 @ 10:24 am | Reply

  19. hello ms..delle,i am silent rusher since i was in grade six…and i never heard such any great news from you,..funny how that i almost fail one of my subjects this last sem.coz i’m pretty much concentrated in listening what would be the biiig reveal,while taking my final exam…to my surprise it was really indeed a great news and i said okay i don’t care if i fail it..hahaha sulit nmn pki2nig q ,SO WHAT!.:)

    Have a safe pregnancy and god blees you and your baby!!!:)

    Comment by Biatchee Lheina — June 10, 2011 @ 12:37 pm | Reply

  20. And when you said that you blogged again, I went to your website and found a lavender page with just your name and your description. Woops. =)

    Anyway, take it easier from now on; it’s going to be really heavy until the full term. Be careful wherever you go. Do not stretch your legs too much because they cramp easily. esp. at night. Just take good care of yourself because your little one depends on you.

    We are here for you both, and we all wish you a safe delivery. At takpan mo yung ears ni baby pag nagsasalita si Jackie Chanak. Naririnig ni baby yung sinasabi nun na kakainin daw niya yung mga babies…hehe. =)

    Comment by louise — June 10, 2011 @ 9:53 pm | Reply

  21. Congratulations! you’re strong, delamar. you really are.

    -bankingonkismet

    Comment by marchie22 — June 11, 2011 @ 11:07 am | Reply

  22. Hi Del,
    This is the first time i read your blog!
    A very close friend of mine went through something similar and now she is a very happy and proud single-mom of my ‘inaanak’!
    I wish you all the best & ur baby.. and Chico too. Hehe.
    I’ve been a silent rusher for almost a decade now. I just want to say hi and thank you to the 2 of u 🙂

    Comment by mickeymicks — June 11, 2011 @ 1:09 pm | Reply


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